Christmas

Isaiah 2:13-14 says "suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others-the armies of heaven-praising God and saying, glory to God in highest heaven and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased".  I read that as the encouraging word from Klove this morning and thought it was going to be a Christmas message I was more familiar with. Can't you just picture a host of angels praising God and singing? How glorious their voices must sound!!!

I read here too that peace is given to those with whom God is pleased, and I wonder if He is pleased with me. I instantly think of all the mistakes I have made and sins I have committed and I hang my head. I wonder how God can continue to bless me with good health, answered prayers to keep my children safe from harm and evil, and a loving husband who works hard and loves me. I wonder how I have been blessed with a warm and cozy home while others have no home at all. I read stories about teenagers who die too soon in car accidents or from cancer and my heart breaks for their families and I thank God that I can still hug my kids. I read stories of children who are missing and I can't even begin to imagine their pain. Yet, the real question I ask God is whether He is pleased with me or disappointed. I know that I can never do enough service or bible reading or fervent prayer to earn God's grace. Jesus is a gift to us. At Christmas time or birthday, when you are given a gift, you don't have to do anything to receive or earn that gift. You only have to accept the gift. I have accepted the gift of Jesus into my heart and took him on in baptism so that I might live a new life. I continue to stumble and fall and go off course, but Jesus is my light(house). He gives me direction in the darkness of my heart. He shows me the way and sometimes I don't always listen but be keeps showing me the light(word) as a guide. He is my rock and redeemer. I am so grateful that Jesus came down and His word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14) and that he walked among the earth to ultimately be sacrificed for MY sins. That doesn't mean that I can go on purposely sinning just because he sacrificed for me (Romans 6:1) but it does mean I can carry on and try to walk the walk. I can keep on keepin on. And I can continue to thank God that Jesus was sent down to be born of the Virgin Mary. 

This is Christmas, the day that we celebrate Jesus' birth. It's a season that we come together with family and friends and share gifts to each other, eat too much, share hugs and embraces, and tell our family more often that we love them. It's the season of heartache too for those that have loved ones that have gone home before us. For me, it's a time to reflect and be overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessings of my family and friends. I have so much to be thankful for, but I am most thankful not only that Jesus was born but that he died for me and conquered the grave so that I may have eternal life with Him.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Looking Back ... Looking Forward

Today brings about lots of feelings of sentiment. As I sat watching the Treynor Marching Band perform at Loess Hills Festival in Glenwood and realizing that next week will be the last week of 6 years of watching my own kids perform under the awesome direction of Jeff Schoening, I started feeling a little sentimental.  Even on our way home from Glenwood, hearing about my niece's little family of 2.5 kids, and trying to manage her and her husband's schedule with an 8-year-old, 1-year-old and one on the way, I looked over at Tandy and just smiled. It really doesn't seem that long ago that we were doing the same.  I don't know when the tide shifted and when we stopped being crazy with kids' schedules, but it really doesn't seem that long ago. Yes, we still go here and there for our kids, but with Brad in college, our days of chasing after the kids' activities has dwindled a bit.  I don't know what it will be like next year at this time with an empty nest, but I'm sure it will be bittersweet.

Next Friday, the 1st quarter of school ends.  That means 3 quarters left of my 'baby's" senior year of high school. I know it's just a cliche, but really, where ever did the time go?!?  As Ashley heads off with her friends to go out to eat and visit a haunted house, I'm reminded of the time we went to a local haunted house when she was 8, and how she has NEVER gone to a haunted house since.  She absolutely loves scary movies, but just the talk of going to a haunted house caused a racing heart and near hyperventilation last year. She is being very brave this year.  She said "I just need to do it!".  Way to face your fears head on, my dear! I'm so proud of you in many, many ways!

Looking back some more...

I recall what seems like yesterday saying good-bye to my Dad. I can't help but smile thinking about him and his "quirky" ways. He loved life and lived it to the fullest. He probably fit 80 years of life into his 60 short years! He had a tough life growing up, taking care of his sick mom when he was 8. He made a great living working for the railroad (as did my mom) and provided us with a nice home and nice things, but mostly provided us with love. He truly never knew a stranger and I think about how much my friends loved coming to my house, because they loved my parents. I know he smiles down on us and watches my kids with joy. Although...he probably has a hard time with Brad going to school in Husker-land, but I'm sure he loves, loves, loves that Brad is such an awesome golfer and is pursuing a career in golf. I also know when my niece was quite upset with her dad, I reminded her how short life can be and to not waste time being mad at those you love.

I remember going on a trip to Branson and Ashley & I went into the "upside down house".  We paid our tickets and began the journey, when not too far into the house, a sound like an earthquake came through the speakers. It was a simulation, but she wanted nothing to do with that stupid place! Nothing I said could convince her to keep going.

I recall another trip to Branson a few years later when both Brad and Ashley were teenagers and kids' prices no longer applied to any of the attractions or shows we went to.  The "song of the trip" was Black Eyes Peas' I Gotta Feeling.  Hearing that on my iPhone now instantly brings back memories of driving to Branson and loving how my kids were getting along in the backseat singing the lyrics perfectly to this song. I realize today that those memories are precious, but never to be had again.  I can only pray that my kids will have a family to make memories like this with.

Over 20 years ago, when Tandy and I bought into a vacation plan, the salesman told us "you can give your kids' things, but the memories from vacations will last a lifetime". Although that was his sales-pitch, his words sold us, and his statement has stuck with me. Most of our trips down memory lane is spent recalling our vacations. Even when we did "stay-cations", we still have those memories. We did stay-cations before stay-cation became a word! We would plan our week and act as though we were out of town. No plans could be made with friends while on our staycation. We would do different things around the area, such as the zoo, bowling, golfing, shopping, eating out on a daily basis, bike riding on the trails, going to Nebraska City for the Day, visiting the museums, etc. We will be going on one last family vacation this year to Cozumel. While I realize that we could maybe go again, I know that once Ashley goes off to college, it will be much harder to find the right time for all of us to go.

Looking back makes me sad and sentimental, but that doesn't sound right, does it? Especially when most of the memories are happy ones. Even though this year will be filled with many "last times" for Ashley and for us, I can't wait to see what the future holds. I only wonder if her haunted house visit tonight will be a "last time".




"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm  you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

All Because of Pickles

I usually live life with enthusiasm, optimism and determination but I realized tonight (or early this morning) that my enthusiasm for life may be too overwhelming for others. I went to a football game tonight and purchased a sub sandwich at the concession stand. I didn't realize it had pickles until I got back to the bleachers. I removed the pickles and pitched them over the back of the bleachers. I think I got a few glances, but at the time I honestly didn't think much about it. I would never throw a cup or wrapper like that but I think food is harmless since the rodents or birds will get it later. Have you ever had a moment where you said to yourself "did I do that!?" I seriously have been awake since 3 AM thinking how I must have looked to others.  I know there are worse things I could have done but this really bothers me to think how I must have looked.

All because of pickles I have started this blog. Many times I look back over my day and replay events in my head and ask if I could have handled it differently and if I handled things in a Godly way.

As I tossed and turned, I started replaying the entire night in my head.  I am a cheerleader at heart (and also a cheer coach) so I tend to actually cheer and be loud at games.  It wasn't until my husband told me to change my pitch that I realized I must have been extra loud. Do I really think that the players can hear me? Maybe... Maybe not.  But imagine if nobody cheered or yelled from the crowd because they didn't think the players would hear them. We wouldn't together create the noise that makes a football game a football game. I don't know why my pitch was so high but it must have been annoying enough for my husband to say something. So I lowered my pitch and second guessed myself the rest of the game. However I didn't stop cheering for the boys.

It was a good game by the way. I don't think these boys could win without enthusiasm and determination and heart. There is one particular player that is admirable in his determination to never give up. He is inspiring to his other teammates. I want to be like him. I want to be inspiring but not obnoxious.  There's a fine line, isn't there?

I have always told my cheerleaders that we are all special and unique and that God created us all different for a purpose. What would the world be like if we all excelled at the same thing? Imagine if everyone knew how to do my job of troubleshooting computer problems. There wouldn't be the teachers to teach, the preachers to preach, the mechanics to fix the cars, the plumbers to fix the water pipes, the astronauts to go to the moon, the farmers to feed the nation, or the psychologists to help us figure out what makes our brains tick. Life would be pretty boring.

I know God made me just the way I am and I also know it's okay to look back on my day and evaluate it to see if I could have reflected Him better. If I owe an apology, I will ask for forgivenesses and promise to do better the next time. But I also realize that I can't apologize for my enthusiasm and zest for life. To do so would be to smother the personality that God gave me. My only hope is that I can use that enthusiasm to better serve His purpose.